You can't miss the Kardashians when their circus rolls into town. Everything about the clan — from Kim's absurdly proportioned derriere to their bodyguards — is over-hyped, over-sized and more than a little over the top.
Travelling with 47 hangers-on (security, assistants, advisers and a make-up and hair team), Kim and Kourtney swept into Heathrow on Wednesday. Sister Khloe arrived on Friday. The objective of the invasion was to flog as many cheap cocktail dresses as possible from the 'Kardashian Kollection' they have 'designed' for Dorothy Perkins.
And boy, did they roll up their sleeves and throw themselves into it.
The Kardashian sisters Khloe, Kim and Kourtney (left to right) modelling their new 'Kardashian Kollection' clothing line for Dorothy Perkins. The siblings created over 100 pieces for the brand
There were numerous interviews, a VIP party, nightclub appearances and a raid on Hamleys. Everywhere they went, the sisters were dropped off and picked up in matching, chauffeured Rolls-Royces.
The Kardashian-mania climaxed with hysterical scenes at the Westfield shopping centre in London's Shepherds Bush on Saturday. Up to 10,000 fans — mostly young women — had descended there in the hope of meeting their idols.
Several hundred slept in the centre's car park overnight, and some required medical attention in the crush to see the sisters. Police shut the mall briefly to manage the crowds.
Khloe, 28, who is on her first visit to London, wore a 75 leather-look trench coat from their collection, and a fixed smile.
After meeting and greeting 500 fans, the sisters were released into another area to conduct yet more media interviews.
The five-day London blitzkrieg has sealed their reputation for being — how can I put this kindly — somewhat short of intellectual giants. Despite more than 50 interviews with print, radio and TV outlets, not a single statement of any interest was uttered.
However, it was clear from the scale and intensity of the crowds following them around that — for a certain demographic, at least — they are the biggest stars on the planet.
Indeed, by the end of the Kardashian Kavalcade, the Dorothy Perkins website had sold out of the outfits the ladies sported.
The Kardashian family — including the girls' parents Kris and Bruce — rose to fame in 2007 when a sex tape Kim had made with her then boyfriend, singer Ray J, four years earlier was leaked online.
The resulting furore led to a reality TV show called Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which has been running for five years and has made Kim, Kourtney and Khloe the most recognisable sisters on the planet.
They are famous for their womanly figures — depending on your opinion, Kim is the hottest woman on the planet or has a rear like a badly stuffed parachute — and for taking hunger for publicity to astonishing new depths.Search our wedding photo gallery for thousands of the best Junior Bridesmaid Dresses pictures.
Kourtney allowed the Keeping Up With cameras to film the birth of her second child Penelope, and Kim sold the pictures of her wedding to 6ft9in basketball ace Kris Humphries for 1million to People magazine. A mere 72 days later she filed for divorce.
Many people (including the groom) think she got married only for the publicity. But this spotlight-soaked life has been lucrative.
Over the past five years the sisters have grown rich thanks to the show and endorsements of everything you can imagine: cupcakes, diet pills, jewellery, jeans, perfume, make-up and a range of clothes for American department store Sears.
Now comes their clothes range in good old Dotty Ps.
That the women have pulling power can't be denied. On Wednesday, 200 girls were camped outside London's Dorchester hotel awaiting their arrival. Over the weekend, that swelled to 500.
Khloe, who is a presenter on American X Factor, tweeted: 'OMG wow I just checked into the hotel and I had no idea how many amazing people would be outside!!! Hi London Town!!! Hugs.'
The trio and their entourage occupied most of the five-star hotel, including the Harlequin Suite (9,318 a night) and Terrace Suite (7,518 a night).
From the instant they crossed the threshold of The Dorchester, Sir Philip Green, whose company owns Dorothy Perkins, served as their avuncular guide.
He sat in on their interviews and inveigled himself into their photo call on Wednesday with all the subtlety of a brick passing through a window.
On this trip, the sisters have been repeatedly asked three questions: whose style do they admire; are there any British guys they find cute; and what do they think of London?
We learned that their style hero — though you might not suspect it from the riot of leopard-print, sequins and gold they are flogging — is the effortlessly understated Kate Middleton. 'She is super-chic and stylish,' gushed Kim.
Despite this generous endorsement, there was no sign of the girls' lunch with the Duchess of Cambridge — which Kim had said was her ultimate London objective.
Each day has involved multiple outfit changes to show off the Kollection to its best advantage.
On ITV's Lorraine on Friday, Kim, 33, modelled one of the Dorothy Perkins dresses over a distractingly deep cleavage.
Within a few hours her red dress had sold out online in size eight; by Saturday there were only size 14s and 16s left.
So carried away was Kim by the success, she managed to misspell the brand 'Dorthey Perkins' in a Tweet, and told her followers the range would be stocked in a country called 'Isreal'.
Kourtney, meanwhile, visited Hamleys with her children and her partner Scott Disick, a male model, where she tried to pay for her purchases in dollars. They later took a spin on the London Eye before having a Japanese meal at Zuma in Knightsbridge.
At every outing, the Kardashians loyally wore some piece or other from their range.
At a VIP launch at London nightclub Aqua on Thursday night, Kim wore a 45 black sequin dress from the Kollection. By Saturday night it had sold out online.
Embarrassingly for the brand, no one famous showed up, aside from the sisters themselves and Kim's rap-star boyfriend Kanye West.
They had to make do with sharing the sashimi canapes and white-chocolate lollipops with a smattering of this year's X Factor contestants.
For dinner at the Michelin-starred restaurant Hakkasan, Kim wore a suction-tight, too-short, 100 per cent polyester black dress.
On Saturday, she wore another intestine-crushing black dress (polyester again) from the Kollection — but all eyes were on her 792 Balmain gold-buckle belt.
Sadly for her many fans, the belt is not available at Dorothy Perkins.
Indeed, though the Kollection is firmly High Street,Read Wedding Dress Shops reviews and store ratings you buy online. Kim's own tastes are anything but.
She arrived in town wearing a 3,863 Versace leather trench coat teamed with 1,436 thigh-high boots by Tom Ford and 489 Rick Owen sunglasses.
She was also pictured in a fur coat, to wails of outrage from animal rights group PETA.
As far as Sir Philip is concerned, though, the ladies can do no wrong.
He told a reporter from Women's Wear Daily: 'I have been seriously impressed with the way these girls work. They are smart and savvy, and know how to build a brand.'
He confirms he has committed to 'a couple of seasons' of the Kardashian Kollection, and has plans to launch their interiors collection in BHS.
After that, he says:, 'I've got an idea, a big idea. It's going to blow the roof.' Which — given how big the Kardashian Khaos is already — sounds ominous indeed.
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